My Life is Lame

Which is PROBABLY why I have such a difficult time thinking of things to blog about. But according to my bestie I'm quite entertaining and perhaps should rethink this blog thing and post more often. So I figure, well, lists work for a lot of people so I'll try lists...but my lists are lame. Then I think, well I could always complain about Mr. Allgrowedup, or the kids...but lots of folks do that and it got old really quickly. So then I'm like, stories from my past? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot OVER, what DO I write about?

So that's where the blog has lead...I'm going to start this post with the top ten reasons my life is lame. It may very well include complaints about the fam and stories from my past. Enjoy.

10) I get excited by staying on budget at the grocery store. That's right. I count my few pennies down to the half cent and throw a celebration in the checkout line that makes the Playboy Mansion look like a Library when I come in under budget.

9) I get one date with my husband once every six months or so. We always go to a casino where we inevitably split up because we have different tastes in gambling choices. I like slots, he likes roulette. Ahhhh...romance.

8) I sport cut off sweat pants covered in paint from a Summer Stock Theatre program I did in college and actually ask myself daily "Does this make my butt look big?" because asking my husband such a silly question will get a retort along the lines of "Something needs to..." leave it to a man to exploit my self esteem issues about my non existant ass.

7) I dress my kids to the nines to run to the corner store. Gotta do something to fill the hours in the day, and my girls are hella cute rocking their hairbows in their car seats while Mommy runs in for beer and Dr. Pepper.

6) I use Facebook as an educational tool for my 2 year old. That's right. My kid learned her farm animal sounds from a game on Facebook. Who needs a See-n-Say when you have live action cartoon cows that you can feed?

5) My TV is on Nick Jr. just about 24/7...even after the kids fall asleep. I'm too lazy to change it and besides I missed this episode of Yo Gabba Gabba while I was preparing lunch...Gotta see what my Boy DJ Lance is up to today.

4) I spent a ridiculous amount of time handmaking the kiddos and myself shirts to sport at my son's soccer games. Hand glued rhinestones and a the never ending search for that shirt that was JUST the right color to match his team.

3) I really like the Kardashian's. Not gonna follow their tweets or anything but I'd totally get drunk with those crazy bitches. And Lady Gaga...MAN to be a fly on the wall when that woman is writing a song... can you imagine "I think I will write about a guy named Alejandro...while wearing a meat bikini and fighting against Don't Ask Don't Tell..."

2) If it comes on E! It must be fact. Just sayin.

AND the number one reason my life is lame:

1) I've spent the last six months plotting on how to get this fugly ass travel trailer Mr. Allgrowedup bought out of my driveway, and other than turning it into scrap metal I'm really fresh out of ideas that won't get the law called on me. I'm open to suggestions.

(No really the piece of shits gotta go... someone help me figure it out...I don't have a lot of brain cells left to waste on that particular project.)