Epic Spousal Fail

I really did it today. Oof.


So the day did NOT start out well. Potty training is a biznitch and since I don't sleep well when my hubster is on the night shift I was up until close to 4 am, and up by 7 with the girls. And did I mention potty training is a biznitch?


So after multiple accidents on my daughter's part today (I say accidents...she flat out peed on my living room floor on purpose ARGH!) and the instance where she felt the need to walk into the bedroom and wake up her Daddy to inform him of her many travesties against her minnie mouse underoos...

I was ready for my afternoon break.

Confession: About 2 months ago I picked up a nasty habit I'd let go with my pregnancies. I on occassion still have a cigarette. Yes I know, bad Allgrowedup.


In any case, my afternoon break was uneventful, with the exception that I opted to go to our back porch instead of the front porch-

(need a reminder why??)

because looking at those travel trailers is enough to make me drink midday, and I'm trying to DE-STRESS, not add to my reasons to harm my liver and lungs.

Fast forward 2 hours and the TV shuts off. Hmmmm...okey dokey. Tripped breaker. I alert Mr. AGU and we get to work fixing the problem (I hold flashlight while he deals with breakers.) It's a no go. All the breakers are working but the one that controls my kitchen (GASP) and my TV which shares a wall with the kitchen (DOUBLE GASP.)


Mr. AGU surmises that the breaker is broken and will need to be replaced. One issue. I KNOW I smell something burning. I smell something burning and it's stressing me out. My husband informs me that it's just residual smell and will fade in a few hours, just to keep my nose peeled in case it gets worse and I need to alert the fire department.


Okey dokey, can do.

Fast forward another hour, girls are settled down to dinner. I go to the garage to inspect my washer and dryer (consequently, NOT working) and the smell is overpowering.


Head to the back porch and discover this:

In case you're having trouble deciphering that hot mess...That USED to be a trash can. That's right. I melted a trashcan with what I thought was a stubbed out cigarette...the said trash can was near an extension cord that connects our outdoor refrigerator to the house. Hence the blown breaker.

We apparently had a full blown fire raging on the back porch for a few hours and were both too wrapped up in getting the TV to work to notice. (Thank God I'm a paranoid freak of nature right?)


Also melted: Our ladder golf set, a lawn chair, and an old laundry hamper we use to collect toys from the backyard during lawn work.


More importantly, that extension cord. The one that connects the outdoor fridge to the house.

So now that fridge doesn't work. Which wouldn't really be an issue (We don't use it much) if it weren't for the contents of the freezer. See hubs is a fisher and hunter...and on top of all of his bait (ew) being in the freezer...there is also a bobcat he killed a few years back and just hasn't gotten to the taxidermist yet.

That's right. I said bobcat.

You've seen Pet Cemetary right???

Mr. AGU informs me I will have to remove the "thing" and either bury it or find a legal way to dump it before it defrosts...


Ummm...how bout NO? I attempted it but got the heebies and gave up. He can deal with that in the morning. I might be at fault for almost catching the house on fire but I'll be damned if I'm the one that has a frozen animal in the freezer! If he chooses to bury it the frickin cat can come back and haunt HIS ass...Thank you very much.

So that's my epic spousal fail. On a scale of 1-10 in shit days I think this was an 11. 

I think it goes without saying that I've quit smoking again. Nothing like near homelessness and possible harm to your children to get your mind right, right?