What DO you do all day wife?

I can't tell you how funny I find this question when my husband returns home from a hard day at work. (And he does indeed, work quite hard.)

I've tried explaining it to him in many a way...but it's just one of those things that if you don't experience it first hand? You just don't KNOW.

Well a few weeks back the ole' hubster came down ill. (It happens...even super man has his cryptonite, or in this case...the common cold with a bit of strep) He was stranded at the house with me and the smallest one for three whole days.

Let me preface this with this: I'm a really really CRAPPY housewife. I hate housework...with an absolute passion. I'd honestly do just about anything to get out of it but when you are the only one of the four people in your home who

a) knows where the trash can is (apparently)

b) knows how to wash a dish (apparently)

c) can find the hamper (no really boys...it's there...just inside the garage door...NOT in the middle of the living room k?, thanks!)

You are really S.O.L. (That's shit outta luck for those of you who missed my attempt to keep this clean ;-)

So I do my best. But then there is my shadow.

My shadow is about 28 inches tall...really precious little brunette who toddles after me demanding lots of attention and time. This is when she's not racing at warp speed in the other direction from me getting into who knows what in her brothers room, or the bathroom, or the dvd shelves...or emerging from my makeup cabinet covered in whodathunk... My shadow is a mischevious little bit of a thing (we shall call her lil bit) and Lit Bit is T.R.O.U.B.L.E.

Well my shadow gave her Daddy a good run for his money when he was under the weather...

Does the shadow care that Daddy has the sniffles and the sneezes? Uh uh... "Dada dada dada dada" (shadow races at warp speed into the side of a coffee table...) "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

And as I explained to that loving man of mine...the shadow does not care if Mama has dishes to wash, or laundry to fold...or heaven forbid a floor to mop or dinner to cook...the shadow knows two speeds and two speeds only... light speed, and dead stop. Only when Lil Bit comes to a dead stop does the Mama get anything accomplished...and that happens approximately once a day for less than an hour.

So what DO I do all day husband? I run...for my life...either towards or away from my Shadow... I cover the 1,100 square feet in this house at LEAST two hundred times before noon...and hope for a "dead stop" (that's nap time) so that I can throw something a crock pot and have the privelage of washing your underwear. :-)