As I'm going through this amazing amount of CRAP that my girls seem to have accumulated (clothes, toys, useless contraptions I'm not sure why we OWN...) I have mentally made a list of things I wish I'd known were useless before my first daughters birth. (and things I wished I'd had the common sense to purchase myself)
(note: not listed in any particular order- just the order I found them in today)
NUMBER THREE
THE WIPE WARMER...
For the record, I registered for this because it came highly recommended from several moms, my sister included. (I couldn't find a pic of the EXACT model, but ya get the idea) I used it for all of three weeks- until I kept wondering why it was draining water faster than I could pour it in and turning my baby wipes brown while drying them out. It's a fire hazard, a pain in the butt- and your kid does not in the LEAST care that the baby wipes are warm. (At least Lil Bit didn't, and so far Tid Bit hasn't complained so I doubt that Bitty Bit is going to give a crap either.)
It's currently collecting dust in the closet.
NUMBER TWO
THE DIAPER CHAMP
Again, used for roughly 3 weeks with my first born and currently collecting dust (though in the corner of the room.) If the smell doesn't kill you (because lets face it...throwing all your shitty and pee diapers in ONE PLACE and leaving them there for a day or so is a GOOD way to offend your olfactory senses) the effort of dragging a heavy nasty bag out of what is essentially a very skinny trash can will. I HATE this thing. I thought it was "soooo cool" when I first got it...but after almost vomitting in my mouth on more than one occassion entering my daughters room? No more. I was having to empty that bag every few hours, and lets face it, my trash can in the kitchen goes out once a day so what was the point? I HEAR the Diaper GENIE is much cooler and blocks the smell. I can't attest to that one way or the other but I just as soon not bother wasting the money to be honest with ya.
NUMBER ONE
THE EXERSAUCER
I have a love/hate relationship with this one. Yes the kids use it and YES, they absolutely love it- but it's HUGE, it doesn't fold up nearly as easy as the directions indicate it should, and even when you DO fold it up, it's STILL HUGE. They start using it anywhere between 5 and 6 months of age and if they are anything like my girls are bored with it mentally by 8-9 months because it coops them up...It's just...BIG.
Then there are the things I wished I'd had the common sense or knowledge to purchase before the girls came along...(and no, I don't currently own any of them...just wish I did)
Then there are the things I wished I'd had the common sense or knowledge to purchase before the girls came along...(and no, I don't currently own any of them...just wish I did)
NUMBER THREE
THE MAGIC ERASER
I have actually owned these in the past and just happen to be out at the moment...but my GOODNESS...what a lovely invention! Crayon on your refrigerator...get out the magic eraser...Permanent Marker on your front door (Thanks Lil Bit) ...get out the magic eraser... Mystery substance on your floor that just won't come off even with goo gone? MAGIC ERASER...Mary Poppins had this shit in her bag. I guarantee you. It's why she was so happy all the time. She had Mr. Clean in a sponge. (Note to self: Add to shopping list...)
NUMBER TWO
THE ROOMBA
I want one of these so badly I could cry. I especially want to know if I could train it to follow the heathens around all day-just in case. (Hey Roomba folks...add a "heathen follow" option-you'll make a bajillion dollars off parents with toddlers.) I sweep at least 5 times a day and the floors are still never quite clean it seems, I can only imagine the stress this would take out of my life. I get kinda happy just thinkin about it actually... (runs off to daydream about a broom free roomba life...)
NUMBER ONE
THE GYRO BOWL
My son pointed this gem out to me in a commercial this morning and I.want.it. BADLY. A mom invented this one, you can be sure. A bowl a child cannot possibly spill the contents of and tough enough to take a toss across a room during a full blown heathen tantrum? Omigosh...awesomeness personified in a bowl I tell ya. I'm hoping I can find them locally in the "as seen on tv" sections of Walgreens or BB & B, because that has GOT to be the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life, and definately something I would get use of in THIS house.
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