Mama/Auntie Allgrowedup has a new law:

When you whine incessently because your mom informed me you were up all night being a butt because you're cutting teeth?

You go night night...

When you sit on your sister because you insisted on pushing the block wagon around the living room at warp speed even though Mama told you to stop that and you got mad?

You go night night...

When you throw a fit that lasts 30 minutes because your sister sat on you even though she was there less than 2 seconds and I'm not convinced she hurt you in the least?

You go night night...

Mama/Auntie AGU is going to go clean the house now...enjoy your LONG Looooooooooooong nap. I'll get ya'll up when lunch is ready....if you're nice to me...

The Clutter Monster aka: WHERE DOES ALL THIS CRAP COME FROM???

Yea. That atrocity to all things decorous used to be my dining room table.

Needless to say, we OBVIOUSLY don't eat there. I wish that I could tell you that this is an isolated incident...but sadly the majority of the available surfaces in my home currently look like this.

It never fails...I spend days and nights (literally, NIGHTS) finding homes for things, putting things away...

(Or, as exampled by the red dish towel on that table- throwing in the towel quite literally and heading to the fridge for wine.)

I'M SICK OF MESS. I'M SICK OF CLUTTER. I'M SICK OF STUFF!!!! 

And despite the appearances I assure you that other than the nail polish remover and one or two other items? NONE OF THAT CRAP ON THE TABLE IS MINE!!!! It's just where I put it because frankly? I don't know what the hell else to DO WITH IT ALL...

The garage is a nightmare (you cannot walk in it) and that is AFTER I went through there not a year ago, bought brand new rubber maids, organized everything, threw away A TON of stuff, and put pretty little labels on all the stuff so that it was easy to find.

Yea...YOU CAN'T WALK IN THERE.

If someone had told me that kids actually got ATTACHED to the stupid toys from McNasty's??? and that...no REALLY...they DO need to keep that broken toy because:

butmamaistilllikeiteventhoughit'sbrokenbutdaddygotmeanewoneANYWAY???

Yea... I would definitely have just gotten rid of all of my own worldly possessions to make room for all of THEIR crap.

(Oh wait...I kinda already DID...)

I've come up with a plan of action...and it quite seriously involves taking everything in this house that isn't directly related to paying the bills and either selling it or trashing it in the next month.  ( I'd get rid of ALL of it...but Mr. AGU might get mad if I threw out the checkbook and the insurance papers on the house...)

I'm giving myself a month to de-clutter, de-trash, and prepare for the mother of all yard sales.

(And if ya think I'm not crazy enough to throw a for sale sign on that piece of shit trailer then you really ought to re-read a few of these blog posts)

Kids say the Damndest Things

Hubs: Nephew! Get off that chair you're going to fall baby!

Lil Bit: (munchin on cereal...) ya!!! gedown!!!

Nephew: (giggles and keeps climbing)

Hubs: (BEST DADDY VOICE:) YOUNG MAN GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW!!!

Lil Bit: (tosses glance over her shoulder at cousin...) Dude...you are SO gonna get a spanking.... geddown FOOL!



(These are the days I wish that my video camera were always charged...)

So I want a big family? So WHAT?

Ever since I started watching my nephew I've been met with a myriad of interesting comments when we get out and about in public.

I imagine we make quite a sight! Me, pushing the double stroller containing my Tid Bit and Nephew, with Lil Man pushing the umbrella stroller containing Lil Bit, and off we go. This is after a carefully choreographed routine of getting everyone OUT of the truck, and into said strollers. Trust me, I have it down to an art form.


But in this day and age of people forgetting their manners you'd be shocked and amazed at how many people say things either to me directly, or just close enough to where I can hear them- about the size of my family.

Does it matter to them that

 a) 2 of these children are not of my loins?

No, apparently not. They are clearly of the opinion that it IS actually possible to have 3 children under the age of 2 in a span of 18 months that AREN'T multiples and/or premature. (Love how people are good at math)

or

b) That even if all 4 children WERE birthed by me, that their opinions simply weren't necessary, and are, in fact, down right rude?

Again, apparently not. People are quite often QUICK to tell me what they think of my large family.

Here are just a FEW of the lovely assumptions/statements people make when they see us about.

"YOU KNOW WHAT CAUSES THAT RIGHT?"
- This one usually comes from people that know me, and are just learning of Tid Bit's birth because they are SUCH good friends like that, they didn't know I was pregnant last year. They also are quick to assume it was an accident with this statement. Why YES I happen to know that SEX causes babies. My husband and I love each other and CHOSE to have another baby. She wasn't a "happy accident," She was well thought out and planned for and I wouldn't change a thing.


"SHE'S BEEN BUSY"
-Usually strangers, under their breaths, and more often than not accompanied by a disgusted look. Ummm...since when are kids a bad thing? And yes... I HAVE been busy. It's called being a mother asshats.


"YOU TRYING TO GET A REALITY SHOW?"
-No. I have no desire to be Michelle Duggar. Though I do have a lot of respect for that woman because how she had that many without going batcrap crazy is a marvel to me. Look at Kate Gosselin...batcrap crazy with only half the kids...

"YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD FOR HAVING THAT MANY"
-According to Mr. AGU this is supposedly a compliment. I consider it a backhanded compliment because people are implying that I look good for having had FOUR children, when in reality I've only had 2. In any case I look pretty frickin hot for having had 2...so they can bite my flabby ass.

"YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD COLLEGE FOR THEM ALL."
-Yea...I'm not one of those parents that plans my family around the cost of higher education. If my kids (HOWEVER many we decide to have) want to go, we will make it happen. But I'm not going to deny my family the joys of children based on what MIGHT happen in 18 years. I don't care if they work at Walmart or become Brain Surgeons, as long as they are happy hard working individuals. I have an overpriced college education myself and ended up a Stay at Home Mom who has no desire or inclination to use her degree- so why would I worry myself about the cost of college when they might not even WANT to go. Hubster and I have savings set aside in case they do, but we aren't going to plan a family around it.

"SOOO...ya'll are done, RIGHT?"
-Again, usually folks who know me but haven't seen me in awhile. To be honest Mr. AGU and I AREN'T sure that we are done, but we AREN'T sure that we want more just yet. We plan on waiting a few years and then deciding. We know our family is perfect for us right now, and we may feel like adding another bundle of joy in a few years- but then maybe not.


I just want to know WHAT happened to the large family in America? Why are the Duggars and the Gosselin's so looked down upon (other than for obvious reasons with the latter...I mean sheesh)

My Dad was one of NINE children, and my inlaws each come from families of NINE and TEN children.

In our parent's generation it was very uncommon NOT to have at least 6 siblings, and a family of FIVE was considered small...

So what changed? Why are my desires to be a mom of 4 so unrealistic?

The Mightiness of Mighty Midget

So I've been absent from all things internet related for roughly 4 days now. (My poor lil farm animals on FB...probably starved to death. psh)

But that's because my wee bebe came down sick, and we've been in the hospital since Thursday night.


Oddly enough, I was able to tear myself away tonight (though I've sent my husband a text every hour since I left...I'm sure he's LOVING that) because I missed my house I claim to hate so much, and my kids who drive me crazy so much...and now that I know she's okay it seems more appropriate to take a little me time.



That said: the back story about the toughest damn baby ever born.


Wednesday afternoon the kids and I were playing in the back yard, and my mighty midget was rolling around on a blanket in the grass. We were only out there a short time because the mosquitos got really bad, but a good time was had by all.

Around bed time I was changing the baby's diaper and noticed what appeared to be a small ant bite just above her groin area. She also had another on the back of her leg, and another on her ankle. Hmmm...meanie bugs biting my heathen? Bastards. I put some hydrocortisone on it to keep her from worrying it and went to bed. But she was fussy. INCREDIBLY fussy. In fact she ended up in the bed with me the majority of Wed. night. (highly unusual)


Thursday morning started out normal, nephy poo arrived as my girls were waking up. Hubster was asleep, Lil Man was off to school. I went to change the baby again and the bitty bite from the night before was the size of a silver dollar, swollen and purple, and hard. She was also running fever. I dressed everyone quickly, told hubs what was up...and off we ran to the pediatrician.


Pediatrician says it's an infected bite, prescribed antibiotics, said to monitor it's size and he would like us back in a week to see how it does.


Okey dokey. Fast forward five hours later and the baby won't quit screaming. Even alternating motrin and tylenol every four hours I can't get her fever to go below 103, and the bite has grown to two inches on each side of the line the doctor had me draw around it.


Off to the ER we run...with my sister in law coming to the rescue to get my other two kiddos.


And there we've been ever since... having massive amounts of antibiotics pumped into my wee bitty baby.

All things considered she's handling this pretty well. I know if I had a big ole staph infected bug bite on MY hoohah? I would NOT be in such a good mood. But that just goes to show you that kids are so much tougher than we think. Once her fever broke she's been a completely different kid. Much more her old self, and doesn't act like the bite hurts overly much. (It HAS to hurt...but the time we got to the ER it was the size of her Daddy's fist, and even after 72 hours of antibiotics it's shrunk, but not THAT much.)


We are still in the hospital because the doctor is hesitant to lance the abcess unless he has to, when the antibiotics really are doing a good job of reducing the infection.


But I want my baby well, and home.